By Robert Taylor
They knew it would be appalling, but it was worse. Far worse. For the Conservative Party, faced with the most horrendous government in living memory, to achieve such a pathetic return last Thursday wasn’t just a furious slap from the voters. It wasn’t even a violent punishment beating. It was a knife to the heart. I wrote two weeks ago that it’s tough to even find Conservative voters these days.
The Leavers have long gone to Reform and the Remainers to the Lib Dems. All that’s left is a lonely bunch of hard-core loyalists and one or two, like me, the country’s few remaining believers in small government. Tragically, it’s too late for the Conservatives even to jump into one or other camp.
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Farage’s insurgent army has wrapped up that powerful coalition of Leavers who voted Tory in 2019, who were then betrayed by mass immigration and the absurd wokification of public life. And most Remainers would sooner die than vote for the party that gave us Brexit.
What, then, are the Tories for? It’s no wonder that, at best, they’re fading into irrelevance, and at worst, bleeding to death before our eyes.
Yet, it is surely unthinkable that this proud old party might exit without a fight. Surely, the party that has governed Britain for most of the past century can’t just disappear. Can it? Well, if so, I’m starting to believe that such a fight can only come from one man. You guessed it, Boris Johnson.
I know what they’ll say. I can already hear them. He was kicked out in disgrace. His own party deserted him. He’s not fit for office. He lies. He imposed absurd lockdown rules on the rest of us, then broke them. He’s not even an MP. And wouldn’t it be ridiculous for the Tories to get another leader? What would it be, seven in a decade?
I get all that. It would indeed be ridiculous. But we are talking about drastic times, and you know what they say about those. And let’s look at what Boris would literally bring to the party. Name recognition. Charisma. Big beast presence.
A record of winning, like no other. And an ability, as he showed in 2019, to transcend the Leave-Remain divide (possibly the only politician in the country who can do that).
Badenoch’s big problem is that many people haven’t got a clue who she is. That wouldn’t be an issue with Boris.
My strong sense is that it’s too late for the Tories, that they’re about to get so overpowered by Reform that they’ll have to sue for peace on humiliating terms, and that even Boris would find it impossible to save them.
But do they have a better bet? And, if so, who? Cleverly? Jenrick? Braverman? Patel? Tugendhat? They’d be better off sticking with Badenoch, who at least knows what needs to be done even if she’s struggling to do it.
A learned follower of Conservative politics told me last week that Boris might well come back to lead the party, but not until after the next election. Only then, he said, would the Tories be desperate enough, faced with the probability of another five years of Labour – even Starmer, God forbid – taking us all the way to 2034. If that doesn’t terrify you, nothing will.
I think this learned fellow is right with his prediction. Because the Conservative Party looks to me like it’s in denial. But if it waits till 2029 to act, it might well be too late. My message is simply this: don’t die wondering.
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By Sebastian Murphy
Boris the Brexiteer. Boris with the bumbling charm. Boris the Red Wall warrior. Boris the Landslide lad. Boris who Britain needs back to see off Starmer and clinch a Tory victory in 2029. Are the Boris Brigade having a laugh? It's become very clear that modern politicos suffer from short memories, but fawning over Boris Johnson can only be sparked by the most aggressive strain of amnesia imaginable.
Yes, I know that pathetic, entitled and misguided Tory in-fighting, cynical press campaigns and even greater cynicism from Drear Starmer's righteous reds is what brought him down. It was beyond depressing to witness the man who'd made leaving the EU a mission of mainstream politics being driven out by these weird wonks.
His resignation was the climax of a reckless revenge drama in which so-called liberals and lefties aimed at Boris Johnson only for their bullets to spray the ordinary Brexiteers whose votes had put him in Number 10.
The whole thing was about as pathetic as the people who genuinely believed that Boris Johnson was behaving like a fascist for trying to prorogue Parliament.
But that doesn't mean that Boris Johnson was a great leader, or that he's the right leader for this country today. He was about the only option at the time to get something like what we voted for after three years of Remoaner chicanery polluting Parliament.
He was, as politicians so often are, the lesser of many evils and I cannot begin to grasp the infatuation which he inspires from so many people.
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So although I'm grateful to him for picking up the Brexit baton and beating Labour over the bonce with it, I think it's important that we look past that headline and recall his failings.
When I say failings, I don't mean Partygate. I don't care if he technically broke the rules. I broke the rules intentionally and regularly because they were insane and I'll be doing the same thing again if ever another lockdown is called.
What I care about is that he introduced those illiberal rules in the first place. I care that his government wasted £140bilion on furlough, a hiatus to which I personally was not treated, but had to pay for, because government money is your money and mine.
And yes, if you're going to even slightly break the rules after introducing them, that stings. But only because you were thick enough to start this nonsense.
I've heard arguments along the lines of "oh he had no choice, poor Boris, everyone was doing it, oh he was scared bless him". Not good enough. Show some leadership. That's your job.
And what about the customs border down the Irish Sea? Now, brace yourselves valued Express readers, but I'm of the belief that the whole island of Ireland should be governed by the Irish and I sincerely hope that one day, through democratic and peaceful means, it is.
But right now Northern Ireland is the United Kingdom's. You know whose it isn't? The European Union's. Because of Brexit. So why did Boris Johnson's government have to consider the EU's opinions on its inner workings at all?
The concerns that arose of a hard border should only have been a concern to the Irish and the British. How an EU state upholds the bloc's trade regulations should never have been a problem for Brexit Britain to help solve.
What about the Red Wall? How's life going in the Midlands and the North? Have those noble towns and cities that put Boris Johnson in his dream job got a better deal in the general lot of life? Or were they been forgotten yet again?
Boris Johnson showed Britain that he's big on slogans, light on conservatism whether you take that political stance to be Burkian or Thatcherite.
He snatched away our precious liberties, forcing us to live in a dystopia. He did because he didn't have the wisdom or the courage to lead. While he was at it, he somehow managed the squander a historic Tory majority.
Britain needs a courageous opposition. And though Kemi Badenoch has been criticised for performances at PMQs, the reality is that the Conservative Party under her leadership is finally talking about important topics previously written off as tabboo from rape gangs to the absurd excesses of trans activism. They've even binned that Net Zero madness beloved by Boris.
The Tories need to be stronger, clearer and bolder. And if they think that Boris Johnson is what they need then they don't deserve to be in power.
